Day 29: Finding the Right Mate

We need God’s guidance in all areas of life. So let me share with you some of God’s promises that relate to one of the most important choices that a man or a woman ever has to make: the choice of a wife or husband.

We will begin by viewing the situation from the man's point of view, but most of the relevant principles apply equally from either point of view, that of the man or the woman.

First, we need to establish a general principle regarding God’s guidance that applies in this and many other situations. There are two forms of guidance that God provides. The first is what I call general guidance – that is true for all people; the second is individual guidance – that applies only to a certain individual person in a certain situation.

General guidance comes from Scripture. This is emphasised again and again. Just take one example, Psalm 119:105:

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." (KJV)

So, if we want to walk in God's way, then the Word of God is the source of light which shows us the way to walk in and that we are putting our feet in the right place. All other guidance must be tested against the Word of God. As John Wesley said, "I acknowledge no other rule of faith or practice but the Holy Scriptures." There is no other rule of faith or practice that has the same authority as the Holy Scriptures. We must walk in the light of the Scriptures. That's the prime resource of guidance from God for all of His people. Only when we are obedient to general guidance, the guidance of Scripture, do we have the right to expect individual guidance.

There is another principle that we need to emphasise here in connection with marriage, a principle from God's Word, a principle of general guidance. It is this: it is wrong for a believer to marry an unbeliever. I think some of God's people are pretty foggy about their comprehension of this principle, but it is stated very clearly in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16. Paul says:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. [Of course, he is writing to believers. And the primary form of yoke is marriage. In Scripture, marriage is commonly referred to as a yoke.] For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God…" (NIV)

Notice those very pertinent questions: "For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" In other words, believers are light, and light cannot fellowship with the darkness of unbelief.