But, before we can begin to apply these principles in our lives, logically there is one question which each of us must face and the question is this: Is it God’s will for me to marry at all? Or does God want me to remain single? It’s this question I’m going to deal with today.

I’m going to turn to the writing of Paul in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, the chapter which is entirely devoted to marriage and related themes. In verses 1–3, Paul opens the chapter this way [and apparently he’s answering questions that the Corinthian Christians had directed to him]:

“Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

So Paul says, “In order to avoid immorality, it’s important that every man have his own wife, every woman have her own husband.” Nevertheless, he says that isn’t necessarily God’s will for everybody. But if the alternative is immorality, then marriage is what God demands. He continues a little further on in that chapter, 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 6–7. Having said this, he goes on:

“I say this as a concession, not as a command.”

In other words, he’s not commanding every man to marry or every woman to marry, but he’s saying it because so often the alternative is simply immorality or frustrated, unfulfilled desires. Then he sums up with a little personal comment:

“I wish that all men were as I am. [That is, of course, unmarried, single.] But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”

Now, that word “gift” there is a very interesting word. It’s a word that a lot of people are very busy with today. It’s the word charisma. Many Christians don’t realize that the ability to find fulfillment without being married is a charisma. The word charisma means “a gift,” or “of God’s grace.” It’s something that God supernaturally imparts by His grace.

It sometimes amuses me when I’m with people who are not Catholics that they’re so busy talking about charismata or spiritual gifts and the various gifts they have or want to have. But very seldom do I hear those who are not Catholics talking about the charisma of being single. And yet, it’s one of the charismata that are mentioned in the New Testament. So Paul says, “That’s my charisma. I’m very happy that way. I could wish all of you were just as happy as I am the same way. But,” he says, “I realize that’s not going to be so. Because my being able to live happy and fulfilled without marriage is a charisma, it’s a special distribution of God’s grace given to me in His sovereignty.” And if you don’t have that charisma, he’s implying you’ll never find that happiness and that fulfillment. You’ll probably be frustrated. You may be tempted into immorality.

Now, let’s make a few comments on those words of Paul. First, as I’ve said already, let me emphasize again the ability to find fulfillment without being married, living single, is a charisma. But it’s exemplified by two of the main characters of the New Testament: Paul is one and whom do you think I have in mind beside Paul? Of course it’s Jesus. And yet I think many

God Is A Matchmaker

*Browse Series