Is it hard for you to offer yourself in service to others? Do you tend to put your desires and your agenda first? Are you willing to make a change in this pattern?
The issue of laying down our lives for others is one of the toughest, yet most basic principles in following Jesus. If you are having a difficult time in this aspect of life, it is totally understandable. As humans, we tend naturally toward making ourselves and our needs the top priority. That’s why it is necessary to learn about laying down our lives.
What I Should Have Said
Dick’s comments: A few months ago, I was invited to be one of the “senior” speakers in a forum at a men’s conference. (I guess that designation is one of the side benefits of turning 75 and staying active in Christian ministry.) I was honored by the invitation and was encouraged by the event. There was good worship, helpful teaching, and the men of all ages who attended seemed to draw deeply from the experience.
The content shared in the conference was uplifting, especially the many reminders for husbands to take their place in the home as the spiritual leader. (Always a good emphasis.) Which is why I was somewhat surprised a few days after the conference by the Lord’s insistent nudge that I had left something unsaid.
“Lord, what did I forget to share?” As I thought back on the Scriptures that had been quoted about wives submitting to their husbands, the Lord reminded me of the need to focus on the second part as well: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25 NIV). Laying down our lives.
A Matter of Mutual Trust
Philip’s comments: The latter part of Ephesians 5 focuses on the relationship between a husband and a wife, especially verses 21 through 29. Verse 21 [NKJV] sets the tone: “…submitting to one another in the fear of God [Christ].” Then, verse 24 [NASB] says: “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” Next is verse 25 [NASB]: “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” God made this very real to me recently.
When my wife Lisa and I were discussing the move to Charlotte, North Carolina to accept the position at DPM, I said, “Honey, I really believe this is the call of God on our lives.” These were Lisa’s words in reply: “I trust that you hear the voice of the Lord, and that you will not do us harm, but that you will want good for us.”
What Lisa said brought a huge revelation to me, because when you look at this matter of wives submitting to husbands, that submission is because they trust them.
Leading by Example
Philip’s comments continued: I was so grateful when Lisa said those words to me—“I’m willing to follow you because I know you hear God and you mean good for our family.” It was a natural response for her to say, “I am submitting myself in this matter because I trust you.”
That issue of trust built on a track record of reliability is a very important aspect of the matter of submission. The principle of a man being the head of his own house carries with it a responsibility to set the tone for those he loves. He must lay down his life to enable the members of his family to reach their full potential in Christ. It is his obligation to set the example and to take the lead on this pathway of laying down our lives.
With Lisa, I have always felt the conviction of the Lord that it is my responsibility to make a way for her and for the gifting she carries. That means laying down my life (and my ministry) to make room for the fulfillment of all that God desires Lisa to be.
A Needed Reminder
Both: Every husband would admit the need to be reminded regularly about this vital principle. We ought to keep our wives’ priorities in the forefront of our hearts rather than pushing ahead with our own agenda. In a word, laying down our lives.
The principle, however, goes far beyond the marriage relationship. We find a clear command to all believers in the New International Version rendition of 1 John 3:16: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” Once again, a basic truth of our faith.
Sometimes we forget. That’s why we need to remember this encouraging passage. Most of us could quote John 3:16 easily. What if we were to learn 1 John 3:16 by memory as well? As a helpful reminder for each of us to follow the example Jesus set?
How do we express love for our brothers and sisters? We lay down our lives.
The Real Meaning of Agape
Derek Prince made some very helpful remarks on the theme of this month’s letter. In the first week of a radio series entitled “The Fruit of the Spirit, Part 1,” Derek taught on this basic tenet of the Christian faith. In those talks, he also included some pertinent comments on this same passage we just cited: 1 John 3:16.
How was Jesus’ love for us expressed? By laying down His life for us. If we love one another, then we are obligated to lay down our lives for one another.
This is brought out again in 1 John 3:16, “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”
You see, that is the essence of agape love; it’s laying down our life. Not necessarily as a martyr through physical death, but by making ourselves and what we possess, as well as our abilities and talents, available to our brothers [and sisters] in Christ.
That is laying down our lives for our brothers [and sisters]—the expression of agape love.
Not an Easy Matter
Right at the beginning of this letter, we stated that this principle of laying down our lives, though very basic, is not easy to walk out in everyday life. How do we do it? Only by God’s grace. Let’s ask the Lord for His help right now to obey in this area.
Lord Jesus, it is so clear from the verse in 1 John that You set the example for us. In Your love for us, You laid down Your life so we can enter into everything You have planned for us. Thank You, Lord!
We need a lot of help with that second part—laying down our lives in service and deference to our brothers and sisters. In some cases, it may be easier because of our love for the people we are serving. Where it gets difficult is with the people who are not so lovable. Help us, Lord, to obey You, following Your example and laying down our lives in service. Amen.
Dying to Ourselves
The commitment you and I have just made with this prayer is nothing short of dying to ourselves. That is never an easy prospect. Even so, putting ourselves second is at the core of the Christian faith, and we can count on Jesus to empower us to do so.
All of us here at Derek Prince Ministries want to help as well. We know how challenging it is to lean into service to the Lord and to our brothers and sisters in Christ. You and I can be inspired by Derek’s forthright teaching, especially in tough areas of obedience like this one. We are happy to provide his materials to you, starting with a free offer for “The Fruit of the Spirit, Part 1,” the message quoted in this letter (just use the download link below).
It is our honor to serve you, and we simply can’t thank you enough for your participation with us through your prayers and your gifts. We are so grateful!
Carrying the Burden
Just one final, helpful thought. A related passage that came to mind as we were preparing this letter is Galatians 6:2 [NKJV]: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” That is an interesting phrase: “and so fulfill the law of Christ.” The emphasis on the grace Jesus offers is so prevalent that we rarely think in terms of “the law of Christ.” But serving one another and bearing the burdens of brothers and sisters is a requirement.
What might that look like for each of us? It could span the spectrum from simply listening sincerely and praying for a person, to helping in a tangible way (financial assistance, volunteer work, etc.) as a practical means of lightening someone’s burden.
Each of us can count on Jesus to show us how to serve in every situation we face. First and foremost, you and I have to set our faces and our minds in the right direction—toward self-sacrificing love and service toward others. In a word, laying down our lives.
Sincerely in Christ,
Philip Wyns
President, DPM-USA
All the best,
Dick Leggatt
Executive Consultant/Senior Editor
